Nonfiction Woman

if practice is what prepares me, and preparation is what propels me, i want to practice excavating, removing thoughts and windows from my bones and soul and brainspace. there, i feel, hopefully, in a way that differs from every other american wanna-be, is something that promises reward upon release. i over-think, so much, and now, [...]

i won't lie, before i got into bed tonight, i put on a pair of nice panties. in case i have to be rushed by paramedics away from here, perhaps to die, i want nice panties on. not those too-small fuschia ones with white dots that i wore earlier. they kept inching down my butt, [...]

week 2 or 3 or 4 of the lay off (who's counting?) and i find myself really open--far more open than i've ever been--to all the career and/or money-making opportunities that lie before me (all while fearing falling victim to the fuckery of recession stats). i could do anything now. i could make a difference, [...]

my summer continues to unfold nicely. i mean, it's nice that i'm alive. the sun is shining. i'm not sick. i got new carpet. my apartment is pleasant. no one is shooting through the windows. i'm sitting on the couch, mid-day, enjoying some pizza and a breeze. so that's nice. and, things continue to develop [...]

my brother and i just wrapped up a surprise collect call. he never calls in the middle of the day. and i'm never unemployed, so bam. there we are. happy. at the beginning of the call, i asked what's up with his voice. he sounded kind of heavy today. like he'd been in isolation or [...]

today was extraordinarily dull. weather- and life-wise. quietly oppressive. main thing on my mind these days is moving on, so i gathered up the man and child and keys to my former office building. we went in with reusable grocery bags and proceeded to remove all traces of me. (...) i tried to rush my [...]