my brother and i just wrapped up a surprise collect call. he never calls in the middle of the day. and i’m never unemployed, so bam. there we are. happy. at the beginning of the call, i asked what’s up with his voice. he sounded kind of heavy today. like he’d been in isolation or something. i worried about him when he was in supermax, and i worry about him whenever he goes to solitary. it’s just disturbing, and i can’t fathom it. he’s says, “it’s probably cuz ain’t shit in my stomach.” strange voice for hunger, i think, but whatever. we go on. i tell him i got laid off last week, update him on the lives of his two kids, talk a little about my kid’s father and his kids’ mothers. eventually the unwelcome guest barges into the call, “This is a collect call from. Oshkosh Correctional Institution.” we both know that that means. the call is soon to be disconnected, so we quickly wrap up our convo back where we began.
“i’m finna go tell one of these fools in here, ‘bitch, go get me something to eat!'”
this statement was unexpected. i assume he’s talking about female guards, but i crack up and ask, “WHO, ju??? WHO did you say???”
“these gay ass niggas in here,” he said, “‘nigga you wanna be a bitch? then get yo ass in the kitchen and get me something to eat!'” he laughed to himself then elaborated, “i’ll make a nigga a bitch in a minute. that’s what they wanna do anyfuckinway.”
i die laughing. after my belly laughs and deep breaths (still the little sister/so amused by big brother’s antics.), i ask, “and what they gone SAY???”
in an exaggerated falsetto, he says, “‘okaaaaaaay daddy. okaaaaaay!'”
we both laugh, then, in a more serious tone, he declares, “real ass prison life, shit. that’s how it goes.”
the call gets disconnected.
Nonfiction Woman 
. . .and in the background is Gangstalicious singing, “Homies over hoes, homies over hoes! Do tha homaay! Do tha homaay!” how sad to think of all the Black men gone to waste.
LikeLike
ohhh, but TT, so many find the loves of their lives on the other side. doesn't that make it all worth it?
LikeLike
W-O-W! Is your brother never getting out? I knew that dudes were in there engaging in homosexual activity. More than we realize I bet. Then they come home to their women & act like it never happened. It's scary. The killing part is they don't even think they are gay or what they did was gay. “It's not gay if you the one on top.” Whatevs.
LikeLike
he is *eligible* for parole in a year.
yes, incarcerated men (and women) are engaging so much more than heteros realize or could even fathom, and those who decide to only be “gay for the stay,” continue to go home and feign heterosexuality when they are actually gay or bi-. but then again, people who have never been locked up pretend in these same ways, too…
and that lie people live that you mentioned is insane. i can't believe people tell themselves such TALLtales. i guess if you say something enough, you begin to believe it, no matter how absurd it is. it happens all the time though. study history, turn on the news. people believe exactly what they want to believe…
LikeLike
mika says: word. you right about that. sometimes people's bare-faced lies that they believe to be gospel gets me mad enough to chew rocks. they can't be reasoned with, so i just take a chill pill & leave them to their fantasies as long as it doesn't infringe on my personal joy.
LikeLike