EF5

What would you do if the sirens went off tonight? Would you go into the basement? What would you take with you? What if you didn’t have a basement, where would you go? What would you do? What if you were outside? In public? In a compromising position? In a car, in a fight, on the train, in a restaurant, grocery store or post office? What would you do? I’ve been wondering what I would do and hoping like hell to be at home if anything like what I’ve seen recently comes my way. And I wonder how others are viewing the recent tornadic activity because personally, it has me shaking in my fkn boots and gathering up various items for my tornado (/terrorist attack) emergency preparedness kit. No joke.

I keep thinking about all those people in Joplin, Tuscaloosa (sigh, and Memphis and Japan and Sydney and…) and anywhere else people have been recently hit by tornadoes (or anything else so life-threatening and life-altering). I wonder what I’d do if I only had 20 minutes to prepare. That’s all they got in Joplin. And so many were unprepared. It was thought that fatalities would sharply decrease with the advent of the Doppler radar system. And maybe they did for a while, but this spring, people have been getting MANhandled by these storms and many others are still acting like nothing unusual is happening at all.

But something is happening. And I’ve been watching The Weather Channel obsessively because I see it. It’s obvious to anyone paying attention—tornadoes are:

Increasing in frequency: Tornado season is April through July in the US. The average number of tornadoes for the month of April (for the past decade) is 161. The previous record number of tornadoes for ANY month was 542 (May, 2003). This April, however, a new record was set with 875 (confirmed) tornadoes. In April. Alone. Today is May 31, 2011 and there have already been TWICE the number of tornadoes that normally occur by this time of year. May, historically the most active month for tornadoes, has had about 180. That’s a nice, small number, but it becomes less comforting when you look at what happened in Joplin, Missouri on May 22…

Increasing in intensity: Just ask anyone who lives in Tuscaloosa, Alabama or Joplin, Missouri. Joplin’s May twister was the deadliest since modern record-keeping began in the 1950s. Tornado intensity is rated by damage caused, not wind strength, as one might believe. The EF (Enhanced Fujita) Scale rates EF5 twisters the most destructive. According to Wikipedia, “An EF0 tornado will probably damage trees but not substantial structures, whereas an EF5 tornado can rip buildings off their foundations leaving them bare and even deform large skyscrapers.” Joplin’s tornado in May was an EF5. Tuscaloosa’s rating was an EF4, which might rise as damages are still being assessed.

Increasing the number of fatalities: About 500 people have been killed in US tornadoes this year. Joplin’s EF5 twister on May 22 accounts for a large number of the deceased, and that number is expected to rise as many still missing are assumed or confirmed dead. 361 people were killed in tornadoes in April, with 4/27 called “the deadliest tornado day in the United States since the 1925 Tri-State Outbreak.” (Wiki)

When I was little, we didn’t have a weather channel. We had the local stations: ABC, NBC, and CBS. (There was also FOX but we didn’t listen to them then, and we don’t listen now.) We had local newscasters breaking into regularly scheduled programming and frequent updates when clouds threatened to bring us more than the standard summer storms. Whenever a watch turned into a warning, I took cover, alone usually, in our basement, under the stairs or under the bar. My father couldn’t be bothered to get out of his resting spot on the living room floor and my mother generally stayed in bed, head under the covers, praying to Jehovah. I guess she preferred to die in her favorite spot: the bed. Not me. I couldn’t fathom lying in my bed, or worse, sitting in the living room where I could clearly see the end of my life outside our open front door as heavy winds whipped leaves off trees and rain battered our windows in sheets. The cast iron screen door used to rattle just slightly, but it was unnerving to see that heavy door (which had smashed my fingers more than once) so easily moved by the wind of a thunderstorm. What would it do if a tornado came down our block? I didn’t want to find out.

If on the rare occasion my family was gathered together watching TV (generally something really family-oriented like Married with Children, my parents’ favorite), and the show was interrupted by storm-warning beeping, the flowing ticker listing counties in danger, or worse, the weather man speaking rapidly in front of the studio blue screen, I’d be in the basement before the announcement went off, sitting there behind the bar, scabby knees and nappy hair, picking at dust on the floor and just waiting until the storm came and got us. I never considered what life would be like after my parents were swept away. I don’t think I ever tried to convince them to join me either. I just sat, quietly, nervously waiting…

I haven’t worried about tornadoes like that for years.

Until recently.

I live in an apartment and for the last few years, I have been increasingly alarmed by the strength of these summer storms and what they might be able to do to this little human-built dwelling. The recent fatalities, coupled with Osama being killed, have me in a constant state of concern for my both my national and natural security. Now, more than ever, because the unknown and unforeseen and unfathomable are happening every day (read: climate change), I want to do what I can to stay alive because there are things I have yet to accomplish on this planet. I’m so not ready to die, and neither is my child.

So, to prepare, I am in the process of assembling my little tornado kit. Not only is the threat of natural disaster real, but so too is the potential for “terrorist” attack or activity in a town near you(!). More like retribution, revenge, or retaliation. But this ain’t about that. It’s just about raising awareness. Hope yall stay woke. I know I do.

Stuff You’ll Need (In No Particular Order)

Liquor (For the nerves. Seriously.)

Water (Bottled. Much.

First aid kit/items

Non-perishable food items

Can Opener (for the canned n-p food items)

Weather Radio (Crank-up or Battery-powered type, but batteries die, so consider that. You will want to hear all breaking news and don’t count on your laptop or TV—you may not even be able to find them when you leave your shelter spot. You wouldn’t believe how many times people say they come out of their shelter area to find everything on the other side of the door just…GONE.)

HELMETS (So simple, but so slept on…just think about it. Construction workers, football players, motorcyclists all regularly protect themselves from brain spills. You should too. During tornadoes, shit (debris) flies EVERYWHERE. It’s probably the greatest danger. Protect your head. It could mean the difference between life and death.)

Boots or sneakers (In your kit, not in the closet, unless that’s where you’re riding out the storm. Even still, you need to put them on and be ready to go when you get the warning. Debris will be everywhere (you’ve seen the pictures), and lots of broken glass will screw you up if a tornado hits your neighborhood.)

Flashlight and Batteries

Glow Sticks (The beauty of glow sticks is no batteries are needed, but light will be provided. Most tornadoes occur late in the day when natural light has faded. Your power will probably be out (if you can even find a light switch) and remember, batteries might die or malfunction. You don’t know how long you’ll be without power and in many cases, you MUST NOT LIGHT CANDLES. Gas leaks when appliances are ripped from walls and buildings are ripped from their foundations. No matches, no candles, no fire. In fact, watch out for small fires in the aftermath.)

Mattress, heavy pillows (even couch cushions), blankets, sleeping bags, or winter coats can all be effective in protecting your body from flying debris DURING a tornado, WHILE you are in your shelter.

Spend some time Googling ‘tornado safety’, ’emergency preparation’, ‘FEMA citizen preparedness’, and so on. The sun is shining now, but severe weather is expected this afternoon. I’m off to get ready.

A last word…people are still missing from the tornado in Joplin on May 22. Many never stood a chance, and it’s often the poor who are hardest hit.

Please do what you can to take the necessary precautions for your area and type of building structure. If you don’t know what that is, Google does. Find out.