cousins run into each other at a family picnic; it’s been a long time since they’ve seen each other face to face. friends on facebook, the two greet each other and the younger woman immediately recalls with fondness the years of sleepovers in their youth, combing and braiding each other’s hair, late night jaunts in the old neighborhood, hiding between houses, kissing teenage boys, and swapping stories of mischeiviousness. the older cousin smiles tersely when she sees her younger cousin and feels suffocated by her loud perfume and tight embrace. she can barely conceal her feelings of disgust at the mere sight of the younger cousin, always flaunting her material wealth in photos online, taking cell phone pictures of herself wearing multiple diamond rings to the grocery store and posting them, dressing her children to the nines just to visit their grandmother, and now, even here, the way she speaks down to everyone, using unnecessarily large words in casual conversation. her very presence deeply angers the older cousin. the younger cousin thinks to herself, it’s been such a long time. why did we ever fall out of touch? she begins to mentally devise a plan for spending more time together. their kids are around the same ages, so, she thinks to herself, we should start taking the kids on outings again because every day is a blessing and an opportunity to enjoy the living. the older cousin, who tends to obsessively watch the younger’s one’s life unfold over facebook vows to ‘accidentally’ delete her when she gets home.
a woman lies in bed recounting the love she and her husband once made, the way he used to look at her, the way it made her feel. her hand is in her panties and his hand is on her breast while he considers medical bills that have yet to be paid, the ant problem in the house, and how awful his wife’s breath tends to smell most mornings. he’s an early riser and he frequently wants sex when he wakes, but becomes quickly turned off, opting instead to jump out of bed and masturbate in the shower on his way to work. the woman wants constantly to be touched, but it never seems to be the right time. she thinks the few minutes before sleep are her best chance, and so she prepares herself night after night for the possibility. she remembers conceiving their last child the year before, the electricity of what she knew was the moment of conception, and she wants to feel that spark again. neither is aware of the other’s focus as they lie in bed, snuggled tightly, on their way to sleep. the woman has no interest in sleep however, as her husband nods off quickly, images from his late-night internet porn perusal flashing across his eyes. he gets a passing erection that the wife feels, giving her hope, but it is only his contentment; he dozes off and sleeps deeply. the woman is puzzled, depressed, bored. she gives up her hope for sex that night and begins to fall in and out of sleep, dreaming of that miscarried male fetus.
two women begin new jobs on the same day and share an office space. one is in her 30s, a little overweight, always neat in appearance, and black; the other is white, in her 20s, a fairly sloppy person, and a math major fresh out of undergrad. the black woman has three degrees in humanities and literature and always chooses her words carefully. it took her two years to get this job, while the white woman was referred by a family friend and had the position lined up upon graduation. the black woman finds the white one to be too blunt and a little socially awkward. she also finds her nosy, crude, and arrogant. disdain quickly begins to form in her, as she eyes, from behind her computer screen, the white woman’s dirty bare feet up on her cluttered desk day after day. she is amazed at the white woman’s lack of respect for the new work environment, disgusted by the loud sounds she makes when she eats, and deeply agitated that she eats so frequently. the white woman, who she leaves dirty dishes on her desk and wears the same clothing for days at a time, tries to engage the black woman sometimes with potty humor or discussion of various webisodes or gossip girl, but finds her cool and detached. because she is jewish, and raised to get what she wants or needs at any given moment, she does not hesitate to borrow office supplies or ask for professional help from the black woman. and because she feels friendly toward the black woman, she is often puzzled by her chilly reception and the blank voice the black woman tends to use with her. she invited her out for a beer once and the black woman obliged her, but left abruptly after one drink. she would be surprised to know that the black woman came home that night venting her rage about the white woman’s audacity, as she has done on most nights since starting this job. she has developed hypertension and is afraid of losing her job, so she agreed to take the pills her doctor prescribed to keep her blood pressure down. she is convinced that one day, she won’t be able to hold in her hatred any more.
there is a name for that…that which is occurring in each of the the previous scenarios. in so many relationships, there is a dissonance, a disharmony, an ignorance of perspective(s), and a churning disparity in perception…volatile differences in viewpoint that if ignited, can sometimes provoke permanent wounds to an individual, or the interpersonal relationship itself. what is the harm of festering lust, envy, disdain? hatred, rage, desire? frequently, internalized bullshit that is more damaging to the beholder than to the beholden. better to openly communicate, with tact, one’s truthful perspective; keep things real, waste not scant moments of life on unrequited or worse, unknown sentiments… let us use this day, then, (and me as your conduit apparently) to get to the point of our problems with others. a little bit of sucking it up, a little bit of self-examination, a shot of courage, and a whole lot of empathy should do us each well. today, at least.
Nonfiction Woman 